Putting great food on the table requires sacrifice…

A green dal paratha with roasted red bell pepper spread and salad mix

if you want to save the world, cook tonight.

I grew up in a multi-generational home. We (family of 4) had 2 rooms (which during the day would convert into living, dining, working, studying rooms and at night into bedrooms for my parent’s and me and my brother) and a kitchen. One of my warmest of memories was having dinners in our very small kitchen - and when I say, small I mean really small. it was likely no more than 6 feet x 10 feet room (no appliances, just a 2 burner stove), with platforms and a sink. My mother managed to convert this into a kitchen & a dining place (she would put a thin bamboo mat on the semi tiled concrete floor and set up our dinners there (especially on cold winter nights when we could close the door of the kitchen and use the heat from the gas burners and hot food to warm up the area). We all had a place on the mat, my younger brother (the youngest and smallest person in our family at that time), sat next to my dad and I sat next to my mother on the other side of the rectangular mat. My mother sat closest to the cooking platform; she constantly got up to get food as it was cooking on the stove and served us the warmest and most succulent of dishes. She timed it as much as possible so we never had to reheat the food or eat it cold. In terms of the satisfaction and fulfillment that it brought to all of us, this was not less than a ‘teppanyaki’ meal for us.

We didn’t have much, but the memories from those cold nights and delicious warm meals still lingers fresh in my mind.

Sacrifice is an essential ingredient for a great life, a great business, a great classroom, a great family, a great anything and yes even for a great meal. Nothing great ever gets done when there is an expectation for a ‘work life balanced’ situation or a ‘9 to 5’ routine or an attitude without a deep willingness to sacrifice oneself for other people or causes. If we look around carefully, we can find the sacrificing person in all great things and when it's not apparent or clearly visible, then perhaps a time lapsed view into the past may reveal the truth. Often the sacrifice can also come from extremely difficult moments in history (holocaust, partition of a country with broad displacement of people, racism, sexism, glass ceilings, immigrants settling into foreign lands, etc) in which case often the sacrificing party (person, group, community) paid the ultimate price - sacrificed their life. More often though, the sacrifices are made in the smallest of acts and they atomically and organically build one on top of the other to enable the receiving party to accrue the benefits and build a successful life, a great business, a great classroom, a great nation.

I am the product of many such sacrifices by the people that are dearest to me as well as those that I may not share any biological ties to.

My mother from whom I derive my resourceful spirit, constantly sacrificed herself to ensure that I always ate the amazingly fresh and delicious food. During my critical high school moments, she was my alarm clock for early mornings and without fail made me hot tea and toast so I could get a head start on my day and focus on my academics. She always got the house in order for every holidays and constantly worked to shuffle things around (remember the multi-purpose rooms) and stayed home while I got to hang with my friends, visit shops and be merry around the festivals.

My father, whose sacrifices were not apparent to me until recently, would take me to his shop and assign me responsibilities (with constant reminding that I needed to be more assertive with other people and he frequently showed his displeasure when I did not stand up to others). He was instrumental in getting me admitted into a great school and constantly resisted getting me involved too much into his day today operations (he was an entrepreneur) to seek (free) help in the business (most of my cousins ended up quitting school early and joining their family business) but rather encouraged me to aim for a good education. .

My brother’s unconditional love towards me is ever humbling (although I don’t show it but feel these in the quiet moments of my life) . He has absorbed much of the harm coming my way through his devotion towards me and his unconditional acceptance of everything that I represent (some of it to his own detriment); While I don’t get to see him as much as I would like, our beautiful friendship has been a constant source of adventure, joy and true happiness. Most importantly, his sacrifices were made at an age when most humans (probably) are at their selfish best (of course there is a strong biological reason for it) - teenage to young adult.

My various teachers and coaches - Mrs Patankar (my math teacher in high school) who encouraged me to work hard on Math and took a chance on my very nascent leadership skills to recommend me for a School Prefect position. . Looking back, this served as a booster rocket, which allowed me to break the gravitational pull of my low confidence at a critical phase in my life.

Mrs. Chaturvedi (my English teacher in High school) who redlined my first ever article that I had submitted for the School magazine (she sacrificed her time by putting more redlines and comments in my article then there were words written by me), which she told me was one of the most original ideas and works by a student (my article was on breaking the family tradition of not quitting school early) and encouraged me to re-write and write more.

Mr. Verma (my Soccer coach in High School) who found so much joy in our football matches that he would often sacrifice his personal obligations to show up at our school to play with us. He would organize matches for us and show up on his cycle (from across the town) in 105 degree (40 degree C) temperature..

And most importantly, my daughter. Our children are sacrificing for us in the most subtle of ways that often we fail to understand. Their spirit to question us, their permitting us to parent them and their forgiveness to the mistakes that we commit everyday is the sacrifice that is made via the biological cycle of nature. As someone said - By our kids we will be learned, I feel that every day (some days more than others ofcourse 🙂). I have become a better cook, better writer, more efficient house cleaner, better researcher, better planner, better manager at work and more ever since my daughter was born. Most of my creativity & ideas emanate from a strong desire to make my daughter’s life better.

The sacrificial moments are fleeting and like life they are ephemeral. They give us a chance to rise above mediocrity and heal our soul. Our healed soul and spirit is what makes the world go around. So stay aware of those beautiful opportunities to sacrifice yourself, your energy, your money, your time, your spirit. Watch out for your parent’s, kids, partners, colleagues, friends and even strangers so that you can pause your own needs and help them in the time of their need.

So about sacrifice associated with putting great food on the table. Food nourishes our body, soul & spirit. Engage with it by sacrificing the convenience of buying fast food from drive throughs or buying pre-cooked meals and reheating them. Cook tonight. We realize it's not easy (especially everyday) and that’s why we have created thegratefulparatha.com. Give us a try!